How to spoil good tennis

They say golf is a good walk spoiled.

Well, World Team Tennis is a few minutes of very good tennis spoiled by hours of ear-splitting cacophony and eye-burning strobe lights.

Monica Puig serves

Some hare-brained marketing genius decided it would liven up the tame game if the fans were encouraged to cheer on their teams while “entertained” with crude rap and hip-hop and gray-bearded rock punctuated with hip-swaying dance routines and indecipherable guttural barks.

My wife and I experienced this torture Saturday night and Sunday afternoon at the Orleans Arena, where the Las Vegas Rollers managed to loose to both the Springfield Lasers and the Philadelphia Freedoms. At least on Sunday I knew to wear my sunglasses to protect my eyes from the strobe light four feet in front of our front-row seats and Winchester ear plugs to lower the level of the so-called “music” by about 30 decibels. The raucous crap and the searing lights continued non-stop from the last ball over the line or in the net until the next serve.

I was reminded of the scene from “The Last Boy Scout” flick in which the bad guy was taunting Bruce Willis and asking what he could do to make him scream in pain. Willis replied: “Play some rap music.”

The tennis was quite good, featuring doubles champions Bob and Mike Bryan, Olympic gold medalist Monica Puig and fresh from Wimbledon Sam Querrey. We were close enough that I batted back onto the court with my palm a doubles team overhead slam.

The constant amplified yammering by some faceless announcer prompted several people in the audience to yell back: Shut up.

Seats were cheap. Less than $20 each. But I don’t think they’ll get me back into any of them anytime soon or ever. Not until they turn down the din and turn off the strobes.


Bryan brothers — mirror twins. Mike is right-handed and Bob is left-handed.


8 comments on “How to spoil good tennis

  1. Anonymous says:

    That’s gross. Can’t believe you went back.

  2. Rincon says:

    I’m with you on this one, Thomas. I wear ear plugs at Blackhawk hockey games. It’s hard to believe that anyone actually enjoys sound volumes so high.

  3. ronknecht says:

    Spot on, Tom! RK

    Sent from my iPhone


  4. Steve says:

    If this hurts ticket sales and attendance, they will change things.

    Ima say, keep the sunglasses and earplugs handy or either watch on TV from home or a quiet establishment with adult beverages. Cuz, it’s not gonna change.
    People like a loud raucous show or the Superbowl wouldn’t have one.

  5. Steve says:

    Have you been to a VGK game at TMobile?

    Loud is an understatement.

  6. Can’t afford it, but sounds like another good excuse to stay away.

  7. Steve says:

    Most of the time, we are forced to accept change. Because we really have no control over it.

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