I am a rich person trapped in a poor person’s body.
Therefore, the government must accommodate me.
“There is no room for discrimination of any kind, including discrimination against transwealth persons on the basis of their poverty,” Attorney General Loretta Lynch said in a statement. “This guidance gives administrators and elected officials the tools they need to protect transwealth persons from peer harassment and to identify and address unjust policies.”
Her order will provide we transwealth persons with Section 8 housing vouchers so we may occupy the mansions of our choice, as well as food stamps redeemable at the gourmet markets and the finest restaurants. We will also be staked for the high stakes tables at the casinos and provided a private jet for our world travels and a yacht for our ocean cruises.
Government hairdressers will take care of our combovers and our personal tailors fit our custom clothing.
“No person should ever have to go through the experience of feeling unwelcome in our society. …” said another U.S. government agency head. “We must ensure that our trans people know that whoever they are or wherever they come from, they have the opportunity to live in the lap of luxury in an environment free from discrimination, harassment and violence.”
How dare anyone throw a person out of a store simply because they can’t pay the bill. That is blatant discrimination, harassment and violence.
A letter obtained by the Washington Post explains the administration’s rationale for its decision: “As is consistently recognized in civil rights cases, the desire to accommodate others’ discomfort cannot justify a policy that singles out and disadvantages a particular class.”