Who ya gonna blame? Climate change! Of course

Poor pumpkin patch output? Blame climate change. (Bloomberg photo via Washington Post)

People used to blame things on gnomes, trolls and leprechauns, but no more. Anything that goes afoul of your wishes or expectations, you can blame climate change — your all-purpose go-to for attribution and accusation.

Why just today, the Las Vegas newspaper has a front page story heralding — without tongue anywhere near the cheek — that the poor Thanksgiving season pumpkin crop can be blamed on climate change. This is because of wet weather in the Midwest caused by, of course, climate change.

“Numerous studies have warned that the effects of climate change, including changes in temperature and precipitation and more frequent and intense severe weather events, droughts, fires, floods and other natural disasters, could have major impacts on agriculture all over the world,” the freelance writer for The Washington Post recounts faithfully from the dogma of climate change bible.

You see climate change causes droughts and rainfall.

That’s why the nut crops in California are poor due the drought caused by climate change.

Poor nut crops due to climate change caused drought.

Pay no attention that outmoded and now replaced Bible that spoke of seven years of lean followed by seven years of fat, nor the research that found levels of the Nile River recorded from AD 622 through 1922 that found a seven-year cycle of high and low river levels.

Wildfires in the West, blame it on climate change. Harry Reid does. “We have climate change. It’s here. You can’t deny it,” Reid told the Las Vegas newspaper. “Why do you think we are having all these fires?”

Flooding? Blame climate change, too.

Syrian civil war? Blame climate change. Prince Charles does. “He told Sky News that ‘one of the major reasons for this horror in Syria’ is a years-long drought which meant that ‘huge numbers of people’ had to leave. He said climate change had a ‘huge impact’ on conflict and extremism,” according to the New York Post.

National security threatened? It is climate change that causes that. “I am here today to say that climate change constitutes a serious threat to global security, an immediate risk to our national security, and, make no mistake, it will impact how our military defends our country,” Obama told graduates of the Coast Guard Academy. “And so we need to act, and we need to act now” — before we run out of pumpkins.

Low birth rate in the U.S.? Blame climate change. Too hot to cuddle. “The data showed that on average between 1931 through 2010, each hot day resulted in 1,165 fewer baby births across the United States some nine months later,” Reuters reported with an apparently straight face.

Got a poor report card? Pull out the all-purpose, all-occasion, go-to troll and blame climate change. Too hot to study. That’s the ticket.





16 comments on “Who ya gonna blame? Climate change! Of course

  1. nyp says:

    he World Meteorological Organization (WMO) reports that 2015 will set (or already has set) a variety of worrisome climate records due to manmade carbon pollution:
    2011-2015 “have been the warmest five-year period on record, with many extreme weather events – especially heatwaves – influenced by climate change.”
    2015 is set to be the hottest year on record by far, with the highest ocean surface temperatures ever monitored.
    It’s “probable” that total global warming since the industrial revolution will cross the 1°C (1.8°F).
    The 3-month average of Northern Hemisphere CO2 levels “crossed the 400 parts per million barrier for the first time.”

  2. Steve says:

    None of those examples make any connection to AGW as THE ONE cause for climate change, nypatric.

  3. Vernon Clayson says:

    Only morons believe manmade activity can offset the weather activity on the this speck caused by the activity of the sun. The sun won’t notice every coal furnace firing up or shutting down or oceans warming or cooling or the passing of generations of fawna and flora including the mere mortals meeting in Paris to discuss freaking weather, it won’t even notice that a former Chicago street hustler will speak as America’s leader. The sun doesn’t notice thia speck in its firmament, if earth spun off into space the sun would continue as it has for time beyond measure.

  4. Nyp says:

    “Chicago street hustler”

    The President is just another one of Those People– right, Vern?

    That is what so much of this is about.

  5. Winston Smith says:

    DARPA: Every derogatory remark about the fascist minion in the White House is directly related to his biracial makeup, not his past or present behavior. BTW, the previous three presidents were also fascist minions.

  6. I think you need to wean yourself from Alex Jones and Art Bell…they’ll drive you mad.

  7. Connie Foust says:

    To address the wildfires in the west; the Clinton Adm. closed the forests and gated the logging roads that were used by many in Montana to get firewood for the winter, fish small streams etc. When he did that because of pressure from environmental groups, underbrush grew, dead trees and downfall were not cleared, forest service employees did not check the mountainsides and a tinder pile grew over the years. Now with one lightning strike the whole damn mountain can be ablaze before anyone even sees it. So it’s not global warming it is stupid bureaucrats and environmentalists who are responsible for the terrible shape our forests are in. Just sayin, I watched it happen.

  8. Rincon says:

    “Only morons believe manmade activity can offset the weather activity on the this speck caused by the activity of the sun.” No evidence presented, of course, just bombastic Winston declaring what can and cannot be, based presumably on his legendary common sense, otherwise called an ego. We already know mankind has the power to disrupt the entire planet, Winston, or do you also believe that our atomic weapons are too puny to disrupt the Earth?

    Speaking of morons, who’s dumb enough to base his opinion of climate change on a continent covering less than 3% of Earth’s surface cooling ever so slightly for six whole years? Winston, of course. Ignore 97% and focus on the three because that’s the only part of the Earth that seems to support his preexisting opinion. Even worse. poor Winston can’t even get the facts straight. News flash, Winston: “Research published in 2009 found that overall the continent had become warmer since the 1950s, a finding consistent with the influence of man-made climate change”. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Climate_of_Antarctica#Global_warming

    Winston’s source is Alex Jones. Alex Jones? Described by Wikipedia as “an American conspiracy theorist”. Nice pick! Want to buy a bridge in Brooklyn, Winston?

  9. Winston Smith says:

    “Only morons believe manmade activity can offset the weather activity on the this speck caused by the activity of the sun.”

    I could be wrong, dear Rincon, but I don’t recall stating that, though my memory ain’t what it used to be.

    And, just because I linked to a story about NASA’s recent Antarctic data, doesn’t mean I find it to be the most comprehensive evidence that AGW is highly questionable, if not incorrect, it’s just another variable in the equation.

    And really, I don’t go about tossing personal insults around here, so what gives? I actually agree with you fairly often, so I’m surprised by this. Did you have a bad day? Did you forget to start thawing the frozen turkey in time? Or was it the Prison Planet connection, i.e. Alex Jones, the evil conspiracy theorist?

    I find it most amusing when people discount conspiracies as the source of political events, yet will admit way after the fact that the behind-the-scenes machinations were engineered in secret by powers-that-be, in order to manipulate the masses…hence conspiracies.

    I guess it just depends on who is running the conspiracy and who benefits, right? If a group of people is messing with the data to justify some action you desire, then it’s not a conspiracy, just some dudes playing ends-justify-the-means, for the betterment of mankind, right? Like with Saddam’s WMD’s, for instance? Way to go, Republicans!

    Rincon, I try to call both major parties on their shit, and since both parties consistently run conspiracies, there is a lot of shit to call them on…

    War is Peace; Freedom is Slavery; Ignorance is Freakin’ Bliss

  10. Steve says:

    Rincon, you quoted Vernon then attributed the quote to Winston.

  11. I’m trying to guess what Rincon was drinking…

  12. Rincon says:

    I can’t remember what I was drinking, but at the moment, I’m eating crow…and it isn’t going well with my turkey! My apologies Winston. You indeed do call both parties on their “shit” on a frequent basis. My acerbic tone to Vernon was a response in kind. I generally try to keep it civil as I hope you will agree.

    As for the Antarctic being 3% of the Earth, I consider it unproductive to point to a small number of exceptions in an attempt to discredit the real trend. I still remember smokers in the 1960’s pointing out an individual smoker that lived to a ripe old age as evidence that smoking does not cause premature death. The (lack of) logic is similar here.

    Among the many things I’m thankful for is this space to hammer out my own beliefs and to try and foist them onto others. Thank you, Thomas. You have and continue to do all of us a great service. Happy Thanksgiving to all of you, even Vernon! 🙂

  13. Winston Smith says:

    Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! Even ?, ? and ?. BTW, where’s Athos?

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