Newspaper column redux: No cessation of secessionist feelings

In light of John L. Smith’s musings today on the secessionist spirit that still haunts the land as Nevada approaches its sesquicentennial of statehood — that’s 150 years for those of you in Green Valley — I thought I would repost a newspaper column from November 2012, especially since it has disappeared into the ether in the meantime.

John L. Smith

“A recent Reuters online survey suggests almost one in every four Americans wants to secede from the United States. That includes 34 percent of those surveyed in the Southwest, 26 percent in the Rockies, 25 percent in the Southeast, and 22 percent in the Far West (where Nevada was placed.)” John writes.

“As you might imagine, 53 percent of voters who identify themselves with the Tea Party movement would like to leave the Union. The rest of the nation, I suspect, would spring for the bus fare.”

So here is that newspaper column from two years ago in all its satirical sendup:

Some public relations genius at the Obama White House came up with a foolproof way to engender good will among the little people and make them think their voices are heard. So they created a section on the website called We the People where said people could directly “petition” the president over various issues, and, if enough people sign the petition, the president’s staff would reply.

Fools always find a way.

After Obama’s re-election “petitions” started calling for various states to secede from the Union in protest over federal usurpation of powers not enumerated in the Constitution. Louisiana was the first. Texas was the first to reach the requisite 25,000 signers to garner a reply. That’s a poke in the eye with your own stick.

Of course, the petitions have the legal standing and weight of the steam off a pile of fresh manure.

Most of them say: “We petition the Obama administration to: Peacefully grant the State of Arizona (or Louisiana or Texas or Arkansas or Oklahoma) to withdraw from the United States of American and create its own NEW government.” They then quote the Declaration of Independence on how governments are instituted among men and it is the right of the people to alter or abolish them.

The website now has petitions for secession from all 50 states. Nevada has two.

One of those is a cut-and-paste from previous petitions. The other actually spells out reasons Nevada has a right to secede. The version online is shortened due to a word limit. (It has since been scrubbed from the ether.)

I have been provided an unexpurgated version:

“The State of Nevada hereby petitions that it be granted the lawful right to secede from the United States of America and form its own new government as a free and sovereign nation with dominion over all unappropriated land therein and with no obligations to the current federal government.

“Whereas, the State of Nevada was admitted into the union under the presumption and presidential declaration that it would be on equal footing with every other state previously admitted, but was extortion-ately required to include in its charter that all unappropriated lands within the boundaries of the state more than 85 percent of the state be forever placed under the control of the federal government.

“Whereas, the voters of the State of Nevada voted in 1996 to amend the State Constitution to remove the Disclaimer Clause that surrendered said unappropriated land, but the Congress and the President have, in violation of the right to petition said federal government for redress of grievances, ignored the will of the voters.

“Therefore, the people of the State petition to be allowed to peacefully secede from the United States and form its own government except for the County of Clark, which could join California or Arizona because the original statehood ordinance was fraudulent and agreed to under duress, and is thus null and void.

“Therefore, all laws and ordinances by which the State of Nevada became a member of the Union would be repealed and all obligations on the part of the State or the people thereof to observe the same would be withdrawn.”

Now, before you jump on the computer and eagerly sign the petition, you should be warned that the Battle Born State has a Paramount Allegiance Clause in its Civil War-era Constitution and doing so might be construed as sedition.

“All political power is inherent in the people[.] Government is instituted for the protection, security and benefit of the people; and they have the right to alter or reform the same whenever the public good may require it,” it reads. “But the Paramount Allegiance of every citizen is due to the Federal Government… whensoever any portion of the States, or people thereof attempt to secede … the Federal Government may … employ armed force…”

Thus, Nevadans have the God-given right to alter or reform our government but authorize the federal government to bring guns and kill us if we try.

As one-time Nevadan Mark Twain said of writers: “ours is a useful trade, a worthy calling; that with all its lightness and frivolity it has one serious purpose, one aim, one specialty, and it is constant to it the deriding of shams, the exposure of pretentious falsities, the laughing of stupid superstitions out of existence … the natural friend of human rights and human liberties.”


Other commentary from the time:

Senseless and futile gesture

White House responds

A call for secession

Creating shams

Drop by next week for another installment of the newspaper column on the sesquicentennial.

30 comments on “Newspaper column redux: No cessation of secessionist feelings

  1. Steve says:

    The hat is back!

  2. Eddie InLiberty Hamilton says:

    Nevada is now ful of illegal Mexicans

  3. Steve says:

    Interesting thing here:

  4. Athos says:

    Now THERE’S a proper government power grab that I’m sure warms the cockles of Rinny and petey’s hearts!

    Big government in action, fellas! Happy now?? Got that thrill going down your leg again??

  5. Rincon says: It’ll have to wait for somebody a little more trustworthy to join in before my cockles start feeling warmer.

  6. Steve says:

    Because it comes from the Bundy’s?


  7. Rincon says:

    To paraphrase, if the Bundys jumped off a cliff, I wouldn’t follow them.

  8. Steve says:

    Fair enough, but reading what they say won’t hurt.

  9. Rincon says:

    Isn’t that what Bernie Madoff’s customers said?

  10. Steve says:

    Reading words is how Bernie got money from people?

    Dumb people, following others over the Madoff cliff with no checking first….hmmm

    Where have I heard that meme….. recently?

  11. Rincon says:

    I was hoping it would ring a bell.

  12. Steve says:

    Yeah, I didn’t do any investing with Maddof.

    To good to be true…alternatively, the fear mongers are too loud to be believed.

  13. Rincon says:

    Their science is sound, but there is not and will not be a way to know 100% EITHER WAY until it’s too late to avoid catastrophe IF that’s what is in store. It probably is already. We’ve already lost 30 years or so.

  14. Steve says:

    According to the fear mongers it is already too late….and you use words like catastrophe….this change is slow and adapting to it is easy.

    Of course those poor poor Floridians who have been underwater for years now….oh…wait,,,,
    thats more about their home values than it is about all those catastrophic predictions that have not come to fruition…to the fear mongers great disdain.

    Oh well, just change the tune and pick on something else…hey I know what!
    Find some islands in the Pacific that may look like they are losing a bit of beach and point at them!

  15. Rincon says:

    I said “catastrophe IF that’s what’s in store”. How much more even handed could I be? Saying that catastrophe is impossible is only something an idiot Conservative would say.

    “adapting to it is easy”. Says one who perhaps does not understand the concept of a tipping point or the possibility that Conservative predictions will be way off. After all, we are in uncharted territory. The CO2 has not been this high for over 800,000 years. Only a fool would say that there is no risk. In truth, you’re somewhat likely to be right. The problem is that you’re willing to bet the farm on it.

  16. Athos says:

    Steve, all I could think of was Congresscritter Hank Johnson and Guam tipping over!

    Rin, what do you think you’re gonna feel like, when this is all exposed as a snake oil scam to steal Billion$ (and if the CCX gets up and running – Trillion$) from these later day con artists? I’ve heard the arguments of “What if we’re right and the planet dies?”

    Too bad you don’t live in Vegas. We’re a little more in tune with hustlers. And this is definitely a classic hustle.

  17. Steve says:

    There is not such thing as a “tipping point” that is a fear monger fallacy.

    Climate changes…it has always changed. Climate change is inevitable. Failing to adapt would be the worst thing any self aware species could do to itself.

    Solar panels will not stop or slow the climate changing…it will change no matter what humans do.

  18. Rincon says:

    Hurricanes and tornados are both examples of tipping points, so yes, they do exist and are common. Whenever a straw breaks a camel’s back, it’s a tipping point. They are all around us. So are you the fool that says there is no risk or the one who is willing to bet the farm that we’ll get lucky?

  19. Steve says:

    I have not said, anywhere, that luck is the answer…and you need to stop trying to speak for me.

    I am saying adaptation is the key….you are foolish if you believe humans can change the climate in any way significant, with current knowledge and current technology.

  20. Rincon says:

    If you agree that there is risk, and advocate doing nothing, you are either able to predict the future or you are trusting to luck. There are no other possibilities, and no, I don’t believe you can predict the future.

  21. Steve says:

    You REALLY need to stop trying to speak for me.

    I keep saying adaptation is the path….you guys are full of overweenin’ hubris to think you can actually control the climate!

  22. Rincon says:

    You say the change is slow and adapting to it will be easy, you are predicting the consequences of a phenomenon that humanity has never seen before. This is predicting the future, so I guess it’s true that you are not trusting to luck; only to your infallibility.

  23. Steve says:

    Wrong, I am basing it on what climate has been doing since the dawn of the very concept of climate.
    Climate changes, has changed and will always change. No matter whether humans (or dinosuars) are here to experience it.

    Dino’s couldn’t adapt. Humans have a chance. If we will only can drop the hubris and accept that we must adapt to what is well known in climate…..IE it ALWAYS CHANGES.

  24. Steve says:

    It really doesn’t matter anymore…..

    At least one world should survive you guys apocalypse.

    Never mind.

  25. Anonymous says:

    If climate always changes, what are some of the causes other than the obvious solar cycles and the occasional volcano. What? You don’t know? Can a butterfly flapping its wings in China cause a hurricane in the Atlantic? I think it’s easy to get way too cocky when we don’t really know our butt from a hole in the ground when it comes to climate. You sound very confident, but as with all of us humans, you don’t know squat about what can change the climate. Why do you speak as if you do?

  26. Rincon says:

    Oops, I’m on a different computer. Guess who anonymous is.

  27. Steve says:

    “What? You don’t know?”

    You don’t know.

  28. Rincon says:

    Precisely my point. Nobody knows. I’m not the one confidently boasting, without a shred of evidence, that man’s puny efforts can’t possibly change climate. Since we don’t know what changes climate, I say there is no way to sanely exclude mankind as a modifier.

  29. Steve says:

    “man’s puny efforts can’t possibly change climate.”

    NEITHER HAVE I ! In fact MY words were that humans are a part of climate…so are earthworms, crickets and butterflies. And firefly’s….and……rocks and lava and…..

    But human effects are only a part of the whole…you have only provided hogwash as your arguments…hell, you even denigrate those very computer models the IPCC relies on for its very base proof of everything it claims! (after being shown they are really unreliable in place of solid experimentation as shown by other computer models… I like irony. Why don’t you guys?)


  30. Rincon says:

    I suppose I should have quoted you. Here are your words: “…you are foolish if you believe humans can change the climate in any way significant…” This is not the same as saying that man’s puny efforts can’t possibly change climate? I guess you’ll have to explain the difference in meaning.
    The computer models are merely forecasts. Just as with weather forecasts, they prove nothing and are not intended to.

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