In light of John L. Smith’s musings today on the secessionist spirit that still haunts the land as Nevada approaches its sesquicentennial of statehood — that’s 150 years for those of you in Green Valley — I thought I would repost a newspaper column from November 2012, especially since it has disappeared into the ether in the meantime.
“A recent Reuters online survey suggests almost one in every four Americans wants to secede from the United States. That includes 34 percent of those surveyed in the Southwest, 26 percent in the Rockies, 25 percent in the Southeast, and 22 percent in the Far West (where Nevada was placed.)” John writes.
“As you might imagine, 53 percent of voters who identify themselves with the Tea Party movement would like to leave the Union. The rest of the nation, I suspect, would spring for the bus fare.”
So here is that newspaper column from two years ago in all its satirical sendup:
Some public relations genius at the Obama White House came up with a foolproof way to engender good will among the little people and make them think their voices are heard. So they created a section on the whitehouse.gov website called We the People where said people could directly “petition” the president over various issues, and, if enough people sign the petition, the president’s staff would reply.
Fools always find a way.
After Obama’s re-election “petitions” started calling for various states to secede from the Union in protest over federal usurpation of powers not enumerated in the Constitution. Louisiana was the first. Texas was the first to reach the requisite 25,000 signers to garner a reply. That’s a poke in the eye with your own stick.
Of course, the petitions have the legal standing and weight of the steam off a pile of fresh manure.
Most of them say: “We petition the Obama administration to: Peacefully grant the State of Arizona (or Louisiana or Texas or Arkansas or Oklahoma) to withdraw from the United States of American and create its own NEW government.” They then quote the Declaration of Independence on how governments are instituted among men and it is the right of the people to alter or abolish them.
One of those is a cut-and-paste from previous petitions. The other actually spells out reasons Nevada has a right to secede. The version online is shortened due to a word limit. (It has since been scrubbed from the ether.)
I have been provided an unexpurgated version:
“The State of Nevada hereby petitions that it be granted the lawful right to secede from the United States of America and form its own new government as a free and sovereign nation with dominion over all unappropriated land therein and with no obligations to the current federal government.
“Whereas, the State of Nevada was admitted into the union under the presumption and presidential declaration that it would be on equal footing with every other state previously admitted, but was extortion-ately required to include in its charter that all unappropriated lands within the boundaries of the state more than 85 percent of the state be forever placed under the control of the federal government.
“Whereas, the voters of the State of Nevada voted in 1996 to amend the State Constitution to remove the Disclaimer Clause that surrendered said unappropriated land, but the Congress and the President have, in violation of the right to petition said federal government for redress of grievances, ignored the will of the voters.
“Therefore, the people of the State petition to be allowed to peacefully secede from the United States and form its own government except for the County of Clark, which could join California or Arizona because the original statehood ordinance was fraudulent and agreed to under duress, and is thus null and void.
“Therefore, all laws and ordinances by which the State of Nevada became a member of the Union would be repealed and all obligations on the part of the State or the people thereof to observe the same would be withdrawn.”
Now, before you jump on the computer and eagerly sign the petition, you should be warned that the Battle Born State has a Paramount Allegiance Clause in its Civil War-era Constitution and doing so might be construed as sedition.
“All political power is inherent in the people[.] Government is instituted for the protection, security and benefit of the people; and they have the right to alter or reform the same whenever the public good may require it,” it reads. “But the Paramount Allegiance of every citizen is due to the Federal Government… whensoever any portion of the States, or people thereof attempt to secede … the Federal Government may … employ armed force…”
Thus, Nevadans have the God-given right to alter or reform our government but authorize the federal government to bring guns and kill us if we try.
As one-time Nevadan Mark Twain said of writers: “ours is a useful trade, a worthy calling; that with all its lightness and frivolity it has one serious purpose, one aim, one specialty, and it is constant to it the deriding of shams, the exposure of pretentious falsities, the laughing of stupid superstitions out of existence … the natural friend of human rights and human liberties.”
Other commentary from the time:
Drop by next week for another installment of the newspaper column on the sesquicentennial.